Saturday, December 15, 2012

1 Star Review, A Writer’s Worst Nightmare

1 Star Review, A Writer’s Worst Nightmare

There it is, the kiss of death. That dreaded topic that comes up often on message boards that authors frequent. It is something that is always discussed but rarely understood. I have to admit that I have never ever personally given a 1 star rating to any person, place or thing. Why haven’t I? You might ask yourself or you could just ask me.  A very simple reason, I flat out think it’s rude. Nine times out of ten someone put hard work into that product, song, movie, book etc. So in terms of books, I’m a writer and therefore have read a ridiculous amount of books. Some books I love. Some books are entertaining. Some books are okay and some books I don’t care for. I try to read books within the genres that I like so there is a huge reduction of the possibility that I will dislike the book. I write horror and paranormal fantasy books so obviously that’s what I like to read. I like zombies and vampires and the occasional werewolf. So I may not gravitate to the books that contain demons, fairies, witches and other supernatural creatures. Surely there are books with these elements within them that I loved. Sometimes a person who claims to hate country music is heard humming a country music song. I’m open to all genres of fiction so why do some readers/reviewers feel to need to simple trash a writer’s life blood (I mean work). My novels are my babies. I view them as my infants/ideas that grow up and become my adult children/books. Would you like it if someone said your kid was a terrible, just plain boring or really short? Here is an example of a 1 star review I read for an author on Amazon I don’t personally know and it’s not me.

            I am not big on giving reviews and hate the thought that I am going to give a bad one. I feel obligated though. This book was just awful. I feel like it must have been written by a 12 year old and if it was, then bravo. The reason I think that is because it was reminiscent of playing with Barbie dolls and the banter back and forth. The main character is not likable but annoying. There is just no depth to any of them. No attachments made...nothing! It sadly isn't even worth the 99 cents it is now.

First let me began by stating I read this book. Everyone has their own opinion but one might want to truly examine their own life happiness when you write a review like this. I kind of view this as a form of bullying. After reading the book mentioned above I instantly thought it was written by a teenager. So there was no way I was going to judge it like it was written by Anne Rice. HINT: It was a vampire eBook. If the thought popped into the reviewers head that it was a kid why would you be so brutal. Have you ever heard of teen suicide? It’s sad but I have noticed that once one or two people give a book a bad review others follow suit and do the same. Hello, if you read the bad review and purchased the book anyway isn’t the joke on you.
I truly take offense to those who bash the other reviewers that gave the book 5 stars. Who does that? Just like you can give a book 1 star. I can give the same book however many stars I want. Why would you bash someone for having an opinion opposite yours?  Sorry for being happy enough to not be rude to a stranger all because of internet anonymity?  If an author whose book you read and dislike is shopping at Target are you going to go up and say all that rude crap to their face? Hell No! I live by the motto that everything I say about someone behind their backs I can say without reservation to their face. Regardless of all I have said previously, one basic fact remains. My parents raised me to be respectful and to have good manners. This may be why the 1 star reviews are so appalling to me. If I don’t like something to that extreme degree I probably wouldn’t comment at all. Remember the phrase “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Enough of my rants.

In closing I will think of the beautiful lyrics song by Jackie DeShannon, Dionne Warwick, The Staples Singers, Judy Garland, The Supremes, Barry Manilow, Ed Ames, Johnny Mathis, Steve Tyrell, Luther Vandross, Aimee Mann, Andrea Ross, Stacey Kent, The Young Americans, Rick Astley, Coldplay and so many others.
What the world needs now is love sweet love. It’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.

Wednesday, November 28, 2012

Give Tom Cruise an Oscar, Pronto!

First let me start by saying “I LOVE TOM CRUISE”. It’s not a stalker kind of love. I don’t know anything personal about the guy outside of his movies and the few things posted on TMZ and are deemed newsworthy by the media. I just flat out think he is a great actor. He has slowly become my favorite action hero. It was Bruce Willis as John Maclane in the DIE HARD movies but things change. I never gave Tom Cruise any thought early in his career. I just thought he was really hyper and had a ridiculously goofy grin. He is still very hyper and yes he still has the same ridiculously goofy grin. I have overlooked his so called crazy antics. Yeah he jumped on Oprah Winfrey’s couch. Yeah he had a verbal battle with Matt Lauer and Brooke Shields. I really could care less. I’m judging him strictly on his craft. With time I came to realize he was really good at this acting stuff. He puts his heart and soul into the characters he portrays. Therefore I feel the need to rant and rave about him, or at least blog about him. I have valid points to his fabulousness.
The Academy has yet to give him an Oscar. This royally pisses me off because Tom has been nominated three times and still no wins. Seriously? I guess you have to donate a kidney to win that gold naked man. The Academy seems to be this elite snobby club that only picks people they deem worthy (People we never heard of usually). I’m sure you’ve watched the televised Academy Awards ceremony and hadn’t heard of the movies and the actors nominated. Then those same movies that never even played at your local Cineplex win and you’re like WTF? If you’re like me you may buy or watch these obscure winning movies once they’re out on cable or DVD. Then you’re like seriously, this boring crap won an Oscar.
Tom was nominated by the Academy for BORN ON THE FOURTH OF JULY, MAGNOLIA and JERRY MACGUIRE. He didn’t win even though those were all great films. What about the other great performance by Tom, A FEW GOOD MEN, TOP GUN, RAIN MAN, INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE, VANILLA SKY, COLLATERAL, EYES WIDE SHUT and MINORITY REPORT. Even if the movie Tom is in sucks you have to admit his acting never sucks. Sometimes his acting is the only thing that carries the movie and keeps you intrigued. Have you seen the preview for his new movie JACK REACHER? I can’t wait to see it. There is no doubt about it Tom Cruise always delivers.  
Lastly, two words, MISSION IMPOSSIBLE. Tom does his own stunts, not minor aerobatics. He is a full-fledged daredevil. Did I mention he’s 50 years old? He acts like a man on speed. Obviously he is not on any drugs. It goes against the whole Scientology thing and since I don’t know anything about Scientology I won’t comment on it. Tom is every woman’s dream guy. He acts like he high on something (drugs) but he really isn’t.  I don’t care how many wives he had. I don’t care that he dated someone with the same last name as him (remember Penelope Cruz). Huh? I don’t care about his affiliation to Scientology. I don’t care how many people his pisses off with his beliefs and cocky demeanor. I don’t care about the rumors. If it were up to me Tom Cruise would have won an Academy award ages ago. I know what you’re thinking, ‘this lady is obsessed with Tom Cruise’. Please believe me. This is not a Tom Cruise love fest. Well maybe it is, just a little. I have to reluctantly admit that Tom Cruise is not my favorite actor. Although that is true, I feel a standing ovation, an Oscar and two snaps up are long overdue for Mr. Risky Business. On a side note, what’s up with the TOP GUN sequel? So what it’s been over twenty years. I know I’m not the only one that wants to see fighter pilot Maverick back in the air. I never thought that Mr. I Feel The Need, The Need For Speed would Take My Breath Away.

Saturday, November 17, 2012

Twilight Saga Ends

Twilight Saga Ends

Thrusday night I went to see this last and possibly final installment in the Twilight Saga, Breaking Dawn Part 2. Did I like the movie? That is up for debate. I liked the books and the last book Breaking Dawn was my favorite of the four. I think I expected more and I got the same as before. Even after all these years I still believe that the first movie was the best. It was dark and gritty thanks to director Catherine Hardwicke. Sure it was a teen movie full of angst, self loathing and indecision but that's exactly what its supposed to be. Now the entire shooting style is different. It's like some glitzy fairytale. It was almost like I was watching a cartoon. No seriously everything looked computer generated. CGI may well be our downfall. I found this extremely distracting from the story and after all the story is what made the movies popular. I am not a gender bias person but I truly believe a woman should have directed the last four movies. A woman wrote the books. The male perspective was odd, too much romance for the girls and too much action for the boys. It was like they were catering to the prospective audience instead of holding true to author Stephenie Meyers novels. I know its hard to have a clear vision when the studio producers and executives are breathing down your neck but I just wish the plan ole Shakespearean view from the books was conveyed in this movie.

As for Kristen Stewart's performance, she was exactly the same as she had been in the other movies. HELLO, you're a vampire now. You should act different. Where was that method actor hat? If you watch the TV show The Vampire Diaries it's like watching an entirely new character when you see Nina Dobrev (Elena) as a newborn vampire. Now I honestly didn't expect Kristen Stewart to give an Oscar winning performance but I kind of hoped for just a teeny bit more. Robert Pattinson was pale and great. He didn't have to change at all. He just needed to act the same way he did in the previous films and how hard could that be. Taylor Lauter was dark and awesome. He was the stand out for me. Plus he took his shirt off. The little half vampire half human girl was adorable, much too cute to be the kid of Edward and Bella. Renesmee looked like she could be the offspring of Victoria and David Beckham. Ashley Greene was great as Alice and I believe that she should be cast as Anastasia Steele in the upcoming FIFTY SHADES OF GREY movies. Hope E.L. James is considering her.  

Of course the movie wasn't terrible although I noticed there was barely any dialogue. There were a lot of unnecessary close-ups. The end was exciting, people cheered during the fight scene. I'm not going to lie. I'm glad it's over. It's time for some new vampire blood. This franchise is a cliche like so many other movies that are made from books. Everyone who read the books will always say "ya know the books were better than the movies". I am definitively one of those people.

Wednesday, November 14, 2012

Now I Lay Me Down To Blog


What is all the hoopla about blogging? All writers must have a blog. At least that’s what I heard. So guess what? I now have a blog. This is my first entry. I call my blog THE LAKE EFFECT. I thought it was clever because my name is Krystell Lake and because I live near Lake Michigan. This Chicago lake effect thing happens quite often where I live. First, I asked a few random people what the lake effect was all about. There was talk of rain and snow but I still had to seek clarification. My next step was to check Wikipedia. Without Wikipedia we would all wither and die. Honestly could you image life without it? It would be like living without a cell phone.

The first thing to pop up from Google was a 2010 movie filmed in Kalamazoo Michigan called The Lake Effect. This film I never heard of with actors I had never heard of. No comment so I’m on to the next. Just so you know The Lake Effect is also an acapella group of five men that performs in the western New York region. I never heard any music from this group so I can’t give any review on their singing abilities. I’m wondering why it’s all guys?

The Merriam Webster online dictionary defines Lake Effect as a meteorological phenomenon in which warm moist air rising from a body of water mixes with dry cold air overhead resulting in precipitation – usually hyphenated when used attributively <lake-effect snows>. Love this, warm moist + dry cold = precipitation. I decided to take this meaning and make it my own. My story ideas are a mixture of different genres that result a finished novel. I don’t feel that’s too off the mark. So this is my first blog. I will try to write on every week on a random topic. It’s 12:43am. I am exhausted and as the title so accurately read, Now I Lay Me Down To Blog.